Princess

     I watched the cars line up in front of my neighbor friend's house....2 police cars, 3-4 shiny civilian cars with ladies driving them and also watched as they got out and went inside.  And when they all filed out.  I wasn't sure if I should get involved but the catch in my heart beat meant that they were there to "apprehend" her children.  All 6 of them.  I wrestled with talking to the lady standing by her car, but wanted them (CFS) to know that "that lady" had a friend that cared to know what was going on.  So I went up to her..."Hi, I'm a friend of the woman that lives in the place you just went into, is everything alright?"  She looked at me and smiled but said in an incredulous voice, "That place there?" and she pointed to the house.  "Yes, I know her and her kids and wondered if everything was ok."  She gave me a look of wonder (like who would ever be THAT ladies friend?) and said, "Oh we are looking for her grand-child".  Ok, like Marge has 2 grandbabies and one on the way, not living in her house, something doesn't fit here....and what about all the cars?
    I let that slide and went home and phoned Marge.  She was out driving 5 kids around and didn't know the bustling entourage in front of her house was there.  After she came home, she asked me to stick around while her native CFS worker came by, to explain what was going on.  As I sat on the step with her 8 year old daughter Natasha and her new kitten Princess, I wondered if I'd be seeing her kids gathered up in the next few days and taken to various homes or hotels.  Her house had slowly become a pit, with letting in the wrong crowd of kids hang out there, her landlady doesn't care to do repairs and cockroaches, bed bugs and mice were entrenching themselves in walls, cupboards and the basement.  We have helped her many times, but because of the neglect and overwhelming circumstances, CFS had been called to investigate.
     Natasha's kitty was becoming anxious to explore and she held on to it tightly.  "Do you think they will take us away today?"  Natasha asked me.  "No, it doesn't look like it will be today", I wondered how I would handle this awful subject.  "Well, if they do..." she looked at me with clear, beautiful brown eyes, "what will happen to Princess?"  "I don't know, she might wonder around and get lost." I said.  Letting the conversation unfold, she said, "Oh, I don't want Princess to  get lost".  "How about if when you have to leave, you bring her to me and I'll care for her till you get back", I said.  She looked at me with a smile, "Ok!  I'll pick her up when we get back."
     The conversation inside with the CFS worker was ending and the man stepped outside on the porch.  As I got up to get out of the way, Natasha shoved Princess into my arms and looked sternly at me.  I held the kitty as Marge, the CFS worker and I chatted a bit and he left.  No kids in tow, not the day of reckoning that we all thought.  I gave Princess back to Natasha and said, "I'll bring you some kitty food.  It looks like that's it for the day and I have to make my boys some supper."  She bundled the little kitten back in her arms and we looked at each other, like sharing a secret but not a very happy one.
     Going home, it took me awhile to detox from that little episode.  Praying, thinking, wondering how it will all go for these kids and their mom, trying to keep things together.  Her confidence in me was reassuring, that she does have someone in this crazy scene that will take care of what is hers, while she faces the unknown.
I now throw what is mine, into the lap of the One I've trusted and know He is faithful till the end for both Natasha and me.

Bannock and Wine

     "Aw"!!  The computer screen indicated a serious game going on, his character blasting away at the others on the screen..."why do we need to go over there?  It's only going to be the three of us, nobody is going to come in this rain anyway!"  The screen lit up with an explosion, and he was back in the game.  My son didn't hear my explanation as the headphones were back in place and his fingers dittoing rapidly on the keyboard. I thought my answer was a good one, even if there is three of us, we have decided to give that time up to pray, study and have communion as a sign of what Jesus has done, is doing and will do, in us and in the neighborhood.    **sigh**
     My prayer was that Woody's Worship today would be another indication that Jesus refused to give up the neighborhood, as was his lonely lady disciple (aka: me).  Steve was out of town, my good buddy wasn't answering his phone, the kids were "occupied" and it was raining.  So on went the 'too big' galoshes (really they were huge rubber boots), my rain jacket and debit card to go to Safeway to buy the grape juice for communion and to photo copy the song pages.  I felt so martyred for my faith, a little like Stephen in Acts 6 and 7 that I was going to preach about in an hour.  I was being harangued and mocked by my son, pelted by rain drops like stones and made to walk a whole block, like Christ heading to the cross.
     It didn't even get better at our worship hour.  Everyone actually showed up (HA!  In your face son!) but in between the preaching and the communion, I forgot the tune of the "great song" I was going to teach and had to read it instead, plus sit in between my 16 and 17 year old because the of the quiet rucus going on with their flip flops.  Can you hear another **sigh** of martyrdom?
     Is this what it is to bring Jesus into a struggling neighborhood?  Why do I have to struggle too?  At least let me remember the song tune!!  At least inject my child with the wonder of inner-city ministry and smilingly turn to me and say "right on mom! Let's go worship Jesus and declare his Kingdom in this god-forsaken drug den street!!"  Just writing that makes me wonder what got into me to even think that it would be easy and others would be patting me on the back with encouragement.  I don't think I have a clue what real martyrdom is, let alone spell it.  The real guy Stephen, who was stoned, could tell us what it means....and he'd probably say it just takes a heart filled with the wonder of His Spirit, hands that spread wide to the widows and the orphans and a mouth that will not stop talking of his justice and peace, the failure of legalism and glory of seeing Jesus sitting at the right hand of His Father.  A surrender to what He wants, when He wants it and love dripping out all over the place.
     In this little space of time and neighborhood, I am inspired and humbled by this story.  We eat the bannock and drink the wine, because we are broken, needy and crying out for his forgiveness and peace, for his presence and power.  Disciples not giving up in seeing the Kingdom come.