Two Teens

Yesterday afternoon, while our boys were kicking back and doing some fishing on Eleanor Lake, two boys were shot at on Toronto Street.  One has died from a chest wound (16), the other in stable condition with a leg wound (13).  My thirteen year old was working at a snag on some reeds, when a kid the same age was just sitting on his porch suddenly saw his buddy thump over and a pain like fire went through his leg.  Only 3 pm, day time shots and one life taken, the other changed forever (never mind parents, siblings and relatives!!).  Apparently it is gang-related, and linked to another shooting minutes later at a car, only one street parallel away. So, tomorrow, they interview the mayor and ask him "what is he going to do about it".  Doesn't that sound strange to you?  Yah, let's go ask the mayor what's up with these shootings, and give us a plan so that we will all feel safe.  Why go to the mayor?  Why not the two guys who did it?  Why not to the gang leader, grieving mom to hard faced leader?  Why not we go to the guys house and weep, cry, pray over the suffering and anguish this brings, bring our sons and daughters to their front yard and say, "Do you want to kill these ones too?"   To take responsibility, to be a grieving yet connected community means that it affects us too. These two teens were worth more than that, my kids are worth more than that, and I hope the Winnipeg community realizes its not the mayor's problem, its all of ours.

In the Dark, With the Lights On

Our middle son somehow wasn't going to go to bed.  He ended up walking the around the house till midnite, after all the threats of taking away "his turn" at Wii the next day, urging him to eat something (maybe he's just hungry!!), my husband trying to do the wrestle him down technique (that back fired) and me just going to bed and shutting the door, too exhausted to deal with it.  He eventually ended up (according to my hubby) on the couch, sleeping there till morning.  Eventually he told me he was mad, I guess really mad, that he just couldn't be mad and go to bed at the same time.  The next night was shaping up to be the same.   Steve didn't say anything, but tried my tactic and went to bed and closed the door.  Our son was ticked off about something again, and decided to turn on the light at midnite and sit in bed with arms crossed.  Ok, so what now??  I am increasingly befuddled and bewildered over some of the behavior patterns of my kids, and this was going to be a classic observation night for me to try to understand this guy.

I hopped out of bed, went into his room and sat on his bed...determined to wait (through hell or highwater) this through.  He turned his back on me, so I studied the sleeping form of my other son in the other bed (they share a room).  "How can he sleep with the light on?  How long will I sit here?  What is going on in that 12 year brain of his, why is he mad this time?"  these questions and more slowly wafted through an already tired brain.  After about 15 minutes, he got up (the mad one), walked to the hallway, our room and the bathroom and turned all the lights on without saying a word.  Then went to sit, arms crossed and back towards me.  Hmmm...he wants us all to be awake with him (I'm great at analyzing mysterious actions), and wants us to be  as miserable as he is, and he hasn't kicked me out of his room...is that a good thing?  has he accepted my presence (like wildlife in the jungle)?  on and on I analyze, as well as pray.  I am a praying women you know, and this was no exception.  Having kids (boys....) forces one to pray and pray hard, on your knees if you have to.  Super human, pleading prayers that you know that God has to answer or else one of his creations will go looney trying to figure this out on her own.

Well, God answered one of my prayers that night.  He pulled up his blanket that he had thrown on the floor, covered himself up with it (feet on pillow) and promptly fell asleep.  Hmmmm....I thanked God that it hadn't turned out to be the all-nighter I thought might happen and as I turned out all the lights (my bemused husband looking up blearily) reflected that "being" with my son was more important then "doing" anything anyway (or having the right parenting method!).   These times I'm "in the dark"  may be the way to deeper understanding, not just my son... but my Father and another radical way to learn to love and "be"  with my family and others around me in a deeper way. 

Rocky Road

There's a road
It's a rocky road lined with sticks and stones
It's a road where the thistle grows
And the freeway never goes
But even though this road is long
Everybody's welcome on this rocky road

Now we're all doing the best we can
We hurt from head to toe
And we fall short of  Heaven's plan
We stumble as we go
But even though we've all done wrong
Everybody's welcome on the rocky road\

We're casting stones even though we're all sinners
Pointing fingers and calling out names
But on the rocky road there ain't no one amoung us
Without blame
On the rocky road

How can I, with this log in my eye,
Count your spots and scars?
Why should I even try to put you behind bars?
I need your love to carry on
We've got to help each other along this rocky road


ONEWORLDSON.....Rocky Road

Get Back Up

You turned way when I looked you in the eye
And hesitated when I asked if  you were alright
Seems like you're fight'n for your life
But why, oh, why
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare
You saw it comin' but it hit you out of nowhere
And there's always scars when you fall that far

We lose our way, we get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever

You rolled out of the dawning of the day
Heart racin' as you made your little get away
It feels like you been runnin' all your life
But why, oh, why
So you pull away from the love that would've been there
 And start believin' that your situation's unfair

But there's always scars when you fall that far
This is love call'n, love call'n
Out to the broken this is love call'n
This is love call'n

I am so broken
This love call'n, love call'n

by Toby Mac (from CD 'Tonite')