Watching You, Watching Me

You're the sun. You're the starlight. You're a wave upon the sea.
You're the glory of the sunrise as it sets the morning free.
You're my hope for the future.
It's your love that covers me and if I've my choice, I'll spend my life watching you watching me.

When you came I was weary and I thought you couldn't see but you saw right through my masquerade right to that secret place in me.
Then your love held me gently, whispering everything's alright. I was born again into your love, born again into your light.

Jesus, sometimes my mind grows cloudy and it's oh so hard to see that there's a life I'm meant to live for you. Sometimes I've lived for me.
When you came I was weary and I thought you couldn't see but you saw right through my masquerade right to that secret place in me.

Then your love held me gently, whispering everything's alright. I was born again into your love, born again into your light


Keith Green (early song...1970's?)

     I've spent some of the morning looking for a song by Keith Green on YouTube, and ended up listening to a different song that remained unrecorded on any of his CD's (ok, albums back then).  What gorgeous lyrics, and the passion of his life and message has overwhelmed me again.  Oh to live in that passion and grace every moment.  "It's your love that covers me and if I've my choice, I'll spend my life watching you, watching me". 

   

     So with that prayer in my mind, I stepped outside and several small happenings proceed to unfold. One, a Grade 6 young man comes to the door and he says the school is in lock down and could he please hang out at my place...sure! I say but a few minutes after he comes in, his brother and crying sister come down the street and they say they are headed to school. No lock down? I say. No, comes their puzzled reply. So out goes the young man and as he leaves he says, you know the car down there? It got smashed by a bunch of blacks last nite. Thanks! I say and go to investigate the car, whose windows (all) are punched in and in shards.
     So off I go to phone the non-emergency line, picking up discarded pop cans on the way home. The line seems to be busy, our friend in righteous crime knocks on the door and we conspire about the removal of a dead tree that fell over in an elderly neighbors yard. Chainsaw? Wheel barrow? When? The complicated thing is she is a hoarder and procrastinator and she does not want it removed (along with other rotten and hidden items inside and outside her place) unless she says so. And she is avoiding the issue.
     The neighbors will not avoid the issue and may call the city to clean up, which means a huge bill for her and instrusion on her space (imagine the scene...old granny attacks city worker, not good). I haven't called the non-emerg. line yet, or had breakfast, or finished an email to my mom and there are trees to chop, kids to urge to school and smashed windows in cars to look at. Then comes the moment, "It's your love that covers me and if I've my choice, I'll spend my life watching you, watching me." Your watching me, covering me, I'm yours!


Thank You.

Drinking Wine on Sunday

Don't tell my mom, I've been drinking wine on Sunday.  That was the funny thought that went through my head, sitting beside a friend who knew my parents, at St Benedict's Table.  It's an Anglican church with a twist, original music played by emerging musicians and litergy that goes to the soul.  The part I love best is communion.  We gather in a circle at the front and are given specially baked bread and red wine from a common cup.  It is meaningful and cleansing and I walk away in awe that He has offered himself again (and again, and again....) for me and my chaotic realm of unbelief and mistrust.  Again, I trust, again I believe and walk into my week reminded, forgiven and renewed.  His grace is sufficient, His mercy never ending.

You know I am a preacher man, with passion, wine and bread;
I call the people of the town down to the river bed
You know the Lord forgives and He lives in you today
So meet me at the river...
I'll wash your sins away

Some say I'm a prophet, I wear a camel for a dress
I eat honey & bugs; I am "the voice crying in the wilderness"
But I play second fiddle in the middle of the lake
So meet me at the river...
I'll wash your sins away

History books are filled with miracles of mine
I have walked on water and turned that water into wine;
But there is still one miracle that blows them all away
Meet me at the river and I'll wash you sins away
(St. Ben's song tonite)

AMEN!!

Eight Parts Chicken, Phoney, Slob

"The gospel is bad news before it is good news. It is the news that man is a sinner, to use the old word, that he is evil in the imagination of his heart, that when he looks in the mirror all in a lather what he sees is at least eight parts chicken, phony, slob. That is the tragedy. But it is also the news that he is loved anyway, cherished, forgiven, bleeding to be sure, but also bled for. That is the comedy. And yet, so what? So what if even in his sin the slob is loved and forgiven when the very mark and substance of his sin and of his slobbery is that he keeps turning down the love and forgiveness because he either doesn’t believe them or doesn’t want them or just doesn’t give a damn? In answer, the news of the gospel is that extraordinary things happen to him just as in fairy tales extraordinary things happen. … Lear goes berserk on a heath but comes out of it for a few brief hours every inch a king. Zaccheus climbs up a sycamore tree a crook and climbs down a saint. Paul sets out a hatchet man for the Pharisees and comes back a fool for Christ. It is impossible for anybody to leave behind the darkness of the world he carries on his back like a snail, but for God all things are possible. That is the fairy tale. All together they are the truth.”

The "best ever" quote I have read in a loooonnnnnnggggg time.  By Fredrick Buechner.  "But for God, all things are possible!!" 

Changes

In a slipping funk again, the silence of God ringing in my ears, a song that Steve Bell sings by Jim Croegaert, snagged my attention this morning and I grab hold for Hope....

Changes coming upon us
It keeps moving, moving around us
Got to keep dancing knowing who loves us
 Got to keep joy in our hearts

He knows all of our needs and
He will meet them following his plan
Even the changes turning in his hand
Soon will be part of it all

So we enter a new time
There are places where it's a hard climb
But there are faces carrying sunshine
Warming our path as we go

Sometimes we may be lonely
It's a hard job making us holy
But in the long run there will be glory
Glory to rival the sun

Bangkok Times

Stepping off the plane at 10:30 pm in the Bangkok airport, I felt my poor muscles try to obey my order to move.  We (my friend and I) had been travelling since 7 am that morning from Winnipeg...3 different flights, 3 different airports.  I perked up though, as we wheeled our baggage out to the taxi stand.  I smelt warm, humid air, gas fumes, plants and mold, my b.o., we were finally in Asia!  Breakfast the next morning was an omelette wrapped in noodle and chilis...yum! and only over a dollar.  Close cement shops, Thai writing, narrow streets and mopeds, mangy dogs (can't forget that) and curly haired poodles staring out of hair salons...their tile floors scatterd with mounds of black hair.  I feel at home, and when the frogs start errpping in the night along with geckos "chucking", I am amazed at how many memories flood back from our time in Burma.  The time we found a dead gecko still squished between the door frame of our bedroom, the huge female frogs calling their smaller partners to "come make some eggs, baby".  The constant chatter of nature, then traffic and dogs and human voices calling.

One of the sad things, when we arrived was to hear of how one of the student teachers from Canada died in a scooter accident.  Our friend from Winnipeg's West End is here finishing his last year in a Thai school, along with other student teachers.  Last weekend, his fellow student fell off the back of a scooter into traffic, and was run over and killed.  The shock waves still affect this small body of Canadian students.  The body is being sent home.  The Canadian girl driving the scooter was advised to leave Thailand quickly, before she was charged by the police....this grieving probably guilt ridden girl left the country.  So hard, so tragic.  Praying for grace, and openings for God's comfort in a terrible situation.

Leaving for Yangon this afternoon, anticipating visits, memories flooding in...our kids grew up there and it will feel wierd not having them, and my hubby at my side this time.  Perhaps they are enjoying ice hockey while I'm chowing on hot Thai curry!  Let this day, be one that God surrounds me and my family in....I give thanks for this day, my travel and His protection. 

It's Time to Pray

"What are the disciples to do when they encounter opposition and cannot penetrate the hearts of men? They must admit that in no circumstances do they possess any rights or powers over others, and that they have no direct access to them. The only way to reach others is through him in whose hands they are themselves like all other men. The disciples are taught to pray, and so they learn that the only way to reach others is by praying to God. Judgement and forgiveness are always in the hands of God. He closes and he opens. But the disciples must ask, they must seek and knock, and then God will hear them. They have to learn that thier anxiety and concern for others must drive them to intercession."


Dietrich Bonhoeffer--The Cost of Discipleship--p.167

I read these words this morning with a sense of de ja vu,  the morning before, our friend expounded that we as the church often have "outreach/evangelism" wrong.  We admire the strong leader who has a strong vision and the church follows to create more churches (and more buildings or bigger ones) and inevitably the focus becomes on programs and the "to do" list so many needs require.  As we look closer to Scripture and Jesus's example, we see the opposite happening:  Jesus through his Holy Spirit disciples his followers, they become transformed and committed to Him and each other, form a spiritual commuity and move outward to touch others in His name.  No need for bigger or better church facilities, the emphasis is on relationship and prayer, small groups of believers keeping the sacraments and their love God and  for neighbors front and center.  Bonhoeffer points out that we cannot force or manipulate people into the kingdom, that our present frantic acitivity must be turned into intimate intercession.   A realization that we are in the same hands that our unbelieving neighbor is, and the need for the same grace, same forgiveness, same need for spiritual closeness and community.  We need to bring people to Jesus, not to church.  Our inner witness and life-change will naturally overflow its banks into tea times, movie theatres, Superstore line-ups, playgrounds and hospital waiting rooms.  Let us remind ourselves why we are here on this planet and how deep our lives are planted into Christ, in intercession, in the fact that God has judgement and forgiveness in His hands.  Ask, seek, knock!