Yes and No

      So I bet you're wondering, "How was the funeral?" as many have asked me already, after Friday.
How is any funeral?  I've been to two of them the past 2 months...I could compare and contrast.  One, welfare paid for the cremation and we saw an urn up at front, the second welfare paid for a full casket, it looked like a paper box from the dollar store with plastic handles on the sides, only bigger.  Of course pictures for both, childhood to adult.  But the one had no God-content, no singing, no higher hopes, no promise of a better day...the guy said at the end, "I guess we all aren't perfect!".  He was refering to his brother who died of a heart attack, he drank to much and had a poor relationships with everybody.  The other, the singing was defeaning!  The memories potent and rich!  We (the 100 there) laughed and cried, endured the cold wind at the cemetary and enjoyed chatting over great sandwiches and coffee.  It was more of a celebration, see how God embodied her and touched others!  The other, a bit empty, forlorn and sad.
     I'm not saying one person was more important then the other.  They both were on disability, had abusive backgrounds, tried to live somewhat happy and productive lives.  What happened that one was surrounded by celebration, the other with emptiness and sadness?  I'm not saying that one had Jesus and the other didn't, although, the stat's would say there tends to be a more hopeful life when one is Jesus-ward.  They were both God's kids, and were invited into His redemptive Kingdom numerous times.  One accepted it with joy, the other rejected it, I'm not sure why.
     Lately, through my spiritual direction studies and just general musing, I've been wondering about the human heart and it's faith journey.  If you'd see your life as a journey on a map, where were the cross-roads or the forks in the road?  Why did you make certain decisions?  To continue in a relationship or not, to have kids, or accept that job or take that trip?  Where has it taken you, are you happy with the outcome?  Or shocked and afraid and uncertain?  When Christine said "yes" inside to committing to Albert (marriage) and a faith community like New Life, it started her on a road of maturity and spiritual growth like she hadn't known before.  And she was thankful.  And had support when she needed it.  And we came together to celebrate her when she closed her eyes and went home.  When Ralph said "no", his path to fill his cup spiralled into alcohol, women, lonliness, mistrust, despair.  He was found in his rocking chair, a few days after he died.  No one would've looked for him, unless he was due at a family wedding that weekend.  He had burnt all his bridges, his anger and attitude drove people away.  And yet some came to his funeral, not out of duty or love, but out of respect.  He lived in their house, they would not hold his sins against him.  I find that deeply moving.
     Whatever my neighbors path in life, says Vanier;

"He calls me to give hope, first to the small and the weak, to those who are broken by life and by oppression.  He calls me to share my bread with them, to shelter them, to loose the yoke of their sufferings and open them towards liberty and confidence.  He calls me to live with them, to make known to them the love of the Father.  He alls me to hold out my hand to the self-satisfied,  the comfortable.  He wants them in the Kingdom.  It is not a question of attacking them, but of calling them."

     Can we not take our neighbor a little more to heart, to deeper waters in prayer, concern and relationship?  Can we be sensitive enough to offer hope in a cross-roads, or a pathway they seem to be in?  It might make a difference between the "yes" and the "no".  One life-giving, the other painful and life-draining.  It matters, they matter.