Hear the Silence

Pain has a way of making sure we hear it all the time.  Whether its physical or mental, it's voice is the first thing we hear in the morning (or let's make it all night!) and the last thing we hear at night.  Some people manage to stuff it and get on with their day, others are immobilized, literally.  Others cope by various chemical addictions, medical treatments or staying in bed,with the covers over their heads.  Pain has a way of paralyzing or pushing the button that's marked "rage", or "hide" or "help me".  Being through agonizing times is one thing, but with no hope of rescue, a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is another.  My Spirit Blast this weekend and healing from some of these wounds came in the form of hearing some silence, letting that silence settle deep and responding to it with trust.  Christ the healer, I realize has not come to rip us apart with laws and legalize of how to live life or how to better manage our pain, but how to respond to His gentle love and presence.  For me, this came in the form of skillfully threaded words, soft music
and a Christian community that acknowledges pain too.  The broken came to worship and went away filled.  We worshiped with wounds, not expecting instant answers but opening our pain vault to his divine presence...whatever that would mean.

Society and so often the church today has tried to tell us not to feel pain, something is wrong if we are broken and confused.  In the cast room in the hospital a week ago, the doctor pointed out to my son, a vast array of colors and patterns he could pick for his cast cover  (he has a  broken wrist).  Would that make it heal faster?  Does it cut out the pain he feels when he bumps it or twists it the wrong way?  A young mom in the waiting room, carrying her little son on her hip, pointed out a glowing orange leg cast one guy was sporting.  "Maybe you'll get a pretty orange one like that!!" That didn't seem to make him smile and forget about his broken limb...in fact, his frown worsened.  Why do we put frosting on our wounds, as if it will sweeten it up a bit or make it more palatable?  I'm learning that it doesn't make a difference, what does is allowing ourselves to finally feel what we do, and realizing that Christ the healer invites us to worship him with it, cleanse ourselves in his light of love and concern and accept humbly the journey he has for us.  Hearing the pain is one thing, hearing the silence that it brings us too may be the first step towards the healing we crave.