Bannock and Wine

     "Aw"!!  The computer screen indicated a serious game going on, his character blasting away at the others on the screen..."why do we need to go over there?  It's only going to be the three of us, nobody is going to come in this rain anyway!"  The screen lit up with an explosion, and he was back in the game.  My son didn't hear my explanation as the headphones were back in place and his fingers dittoing rapidly on the keyboard. I thought my answer was a good one, even if there is three of us, we have decided to give that time up to pray, study and have communion as a sign of what Jesus has done, is doing and will do, in us and in the neighborhood.    **sigh**
     My prayer was that Woody's Worship today would be another indication that Jesus refused to give up the neighborhood, as was his lonely lady disciple (aka: me).  Steve was out of town, my good buddy wasn't answering his phone, the kids were "occupied" and it was raining.  So on went the 'too big' galoshes (really they were huge rubber boots), my rain jacket and debit card to go to Safeway to buy the grape juice for communion and to photo copy the song pages.  I felt so martyred for my faith, a little like Stephen in Acts 6 and 7 that I was going to preach about in an hour.  I was being harangued and mocked by my son, pelted by rain drops like stones and made to walk a whole block, like Christ heading to the cross.
     It didn't even get better at our worship hour.  Everyone actually showed up (HA!  In your face son!) but in between the preaching and the communion, I forgot the tune of the "great song" I was going to teach and had to read it instead, plus sit in between my 16 and 17 year old because the of the quiet rucus going on with their flip flops.  Can you hear another **sigh** of martyrdom?
     Is this what it is to bring Jesus into a struggling neighborhood?  Why do I have to struggle too?  At least let me remember the song tune!!  At least inject my child with the wonder of inner-city ministry and smilingly turn to me and say "right on mom! Let's go worship Jesus and declare his Kingdom in this god-forsaken drug den street!!"  Just writing that makes me wonder what got into me to even think that it would be easy and others would be patting me on the back with encouragement.  I don't think I have a clue what real martyrdom is, let alone spell it.  The real guy Stephen, who was stoned, could tell us what it means....and he'd probably say it just takes a heart filled with the wonder of His Spirit, hands that spread wide to the widows and the orphans and a mouth that will not stop talking of his justice and peace, the failure of legalism and glory of seeing Jesus sitting at the right hand of His Father.  A surrender to what He wants, when He wants it and love dripping out all over the place.
     In this little space of time and neighborhood, I am inspired and humbled by this story.  We eat the bannock and drink the wine, because we are broken, needy and crying out for his forgiveness and peace, for his presence and power.  Disciples not giving up in seeing the Kingdom come.