Ok, most of you who read this know about Dietrich Bonhoeffer who was the German pastor who radically opposed Hitler and compliant churches in WW2, right? Someone wrote a nice big biography about his life that will blow your socks off. Now, get this, I picked up the Shane Claiborne book The Irresistible Revolution, in which he quotes a Danish pastor who was preaching up a storm as the Nazi storm took over and he was killed by them in 1944. Here is a gripping clip of one of Kaj Monk's sermons that is as relevant today as ever was in the maelstrom of the 40's. Hold on to your seats, and take this ride to the streets:
"What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer; 'Faith, hope, and love'? That sounds beautiful. But I would say-courage! No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature...we lack a holy rage-the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity.
The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction of peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God.
And remember the signs of the Christian church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish.....but never the Chameleon."
Never the Chameleon. Word, bro.
Friday, May 6, 2016
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Pumpkin Pie
This is a late nite post because I am bothered by a conversation I had with an old (like age wise, not that I've know him a long time) friend at a local cafe. Well, it was 90% him talking and a few "uh-huh's" from me for about 2 1/2 hrs. The patience ran thin at the end,but I know this guys heart and it so longs for change in a neighborhood that needs plenty of it. There was a story he told that come to the heart of what he is and was describing...and it means attitudes not just action.
Here's a guy who spent many years living in his car, and through a community program he was able to buy a house with low mortgage payments. With his gratitude and concern for the North End of Winnipeg, he's joined many neighborhood programs and has seen significant change for the better. He budgets (off pension, he's in his 80's I presume) 10 dollars a week for lunches and finds inexpensive places to find a muffin and coffee in the morning and a hot supper. He goes to two churches on Sunday and finds himself drawn to Christ and the Bible in a way he can't explain.
One Sunday a couple invited him to their house for supper. Very happy about that, he asked if he could bring something...they said, how about a pumpkin pie? and mentioned a local cafe to buy it at. He agreed and ordered it over the phone. As he went to pick it up, he pulled out his $10 (remember this is his week's lunch allowance!). He went to the counter and asked for his pie, it was ready and she rang it up for $20. Oh! he said, I guess it costed more then I thought (as he pulled out another $10 for his lunch money for week 2). He paid for the pie and as he was leaving the lady behind the counter said, can you bring back the pie plate? We need it make to use again. He thought, $20 for a pie and they want the pie plate back? Wow, this is turning out to be an expensive dinner invite!
They enjoyed the pie, and he politely told them they could keep the extra pie left over but would need to bring back the plate it came with! Needless to say, he wasn't too excited to go back to their place for another visit, or to buy anything at the cafe he was at. His vision continues to be that people, especially Christians would learn to listen and understand poverty and hard places and spaces. Some world views just don't take into account the hard work "the poor" go to to budget, skimp, give and deny themselves just to get by week to week. Few have the patience to really "listen" and "get it" when concerns like this come up, and find ways to continue relationship and purpose without alot of money or expectations. A cup of coffee, a small gift of money or even toliet paper or light bulbs....a ride to the store, or a walk to Timmies. These are thing much needed and appreciated but we learn them when we are listening, invited to share lives and stories....not bringing our own agenda into the mix.
So I am up late, thinking too hard about these things and the need for true engagement, love, understanding and less judgement and expectations. So lay down and sleep in peace, there is someone you will meet tomorrow that will reach into your life and ask you to attend to their soul, beware of the revolution it will bring into your world of safe assumptions and our shallow definition of love in action.
Here's a guy who spent many years living in his car, and through a community program he was able to buy a house with low mortgage payments. With his gratitude and concern for the North End of Winnipeg, he's joined many neighborhood programs and has seen significant change for the better. He budgets (off pension, he's in his 80's I presume) 10 dollars a week for lunches and finds inexpensive places to find a muffin and coffee in the morning and a hot supper. He goes to two churches on Sunday and finds himself drawn to Christ and the Bible in a way he can't explain.
One Sunday a couple invited him to their house for supper. Very happy about that, he asked if he could bring something...they said, how about a pumpkin pie? and mentioned a local cafe to buy it at. He agreed and ordered it over the phone. As he went to pick it up, he pulled out his $10 (remember this is his week's lunch allowance!). He went to the counter and asked for his pie, it was ready and she rang it up for $20. Oh! he said, I guess it costed more then I thought (as he pulled out another $10 for his lunch money for week 2). He paid for the pie and as he was leaving the lady behind the counter said, can you bring back the pie plate? We need it make to use again. He thought, $20 for a pie and they want the pie plate back? Wow, this is turning out to be an expensive dinner invite!
They enjoyed the pie, and he politely told them they could keep the extra pie left over but would need to bring back the plate it came with! Needless to say, he wasn't too excited to go back to their place for another visit, or to buy anything at the cafe he was at. His vision continues to be that people, especially Christians would learn to listen and understand poverty and hard places and spaces. Some world views just don't take into account the hard work "the poor" go to to budget, skimp, give and deny themselves just to get by week to week. Few have the patience to really "listen" and "get it" when concerns like this come up, and find ways to continue relationship and purpose without alot of money or expectations. A cup of coffee, a small gift of money or even toliet paper or light bulbs....a ride to the store, or a walk to Timmies. These are thing much needed and appreciated but we learn them when we are listening, invited to share lives and stories....not bringing our own agenda into the mix.
So I am up late, thinking too hard about these things and the need for true engagement, love, understanding and less judgement and expectations. So lay down and sleep in peace, there is someone you will meet tomorrow that will reach into your life and ask you to attend to their soul, beware of the revolution it will bring into your world of safe assumptions and our shallow definition of love in action.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
The Peace of Wild Things
Yesterday, as my friend and I drove his truck from Pinawa to Winnipeg, we marvelled at the construction going on just north of the perimeter. "Can you believe they have a car wash, all the way out here?", I exclaimed. "Well, seems like they are building new residences...." he said. "So a car wash comes first (no bus service out here, must be for car owners only), then what, a grocery store?". "I think they put in the SuperStore and Walmart next", he said. Can you imagine that, it's not a "grocery store" anymore, its the two biggest chains in Canada. I processed that for a few minutes, the spaces of land dug up and poured with concrete, and told him, "God creates earth, man creates Walmarts",
Since we both acknowledge the need for clothing and food at lower prices, being inner city folk....we analyzed the pro's and con's of Walmart, Superstore, Giant Tiger (no parking, people walk at least 5 city blocks to get there or take the bus), the new No Frills and the manager there (who says people leave frozen products around the store and he looses money), and then (as always) our hopes and dreams to eventually live on the land, grow food, hunt, share and take care of what God made....creation, His version of Walmart, and doesn't require credit cards.
The tension of living in the inner city and taking time to tend to our concrete exhausted souls in places that restore the soul (Whiteshell, lately Oak Hammock marsh in spring) is becoming more and more pronounced. This morning I woke up to a robin singing, crows, sparrows, squirrels...along with traffic down Sherbrook and the police helicopter blades whirring. I am so glad I didn't hear the fire engines roaring down Maryland to attend to the fire down past Portage at 3 am. Watching my compost decompose, my little garden plot unveiling itself and the chive plant starting to peek out is a taster for my land starved soul.
This morning, Earth Day (?) I have to decide....do I go to my workshop and prep the walls for painting in the smelly, basement room that is to be our work office or go to the neighborhood garbage clean up....both Kingdom things to do, renovating and improving a boarding house basement and taking care of the concrete places and urban grassland called boulevards. Decisions, decisions. And then I read "The Peace of Wild Things" by Wendall Berry, relating to every word and the line, "I come to the peace of the wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief".....if I don't clean the sidewalk it will look like I don't care about the environment, if I don't wash those grimy walls today, it will look like I don't care about smelly boarding house basements.
I know there is more to it then that, the tension eases when I think that whatever I do... the still water, the rest I look for is in front of me even here. Bird sounds, neighbors connecting, clean smell of a job well done, the burden lifts and I am allowed an Earth Day. And believe me, Walmart cannot compare to that.
Since we both acknowledge the need for clothing and food at lower prices, being inner city folk....we analyzed the pro's and con's of Walmart, Superstore, Giant Tiger (no parking, people walk at least 5 city blocks to get there or take the bus), the new No Frills and the manager there (who says people leave frozen products around the store and he looses money), and then (as always) our hopes and dreams to eventually live on the land, grow food, hunt, share and take care of what God made....creation, His version of Walmart, and doesn't require credit cards.
The tension of living in the inner city and taking time to tend to our concrete exhausted souls in places that restore the soul (Whiteshell, lately Oak Hammock marsh in spring) is becoming more and more pronounced. This morning I woke up to a robin singing, crows, sparrows, squirrels...along with traffic down Sherbrook and the police helicopter blades whirring. I am so glad I didn't hear the fire engines roaring down Maryland to attend to the fire down past Portage at 3 am. Watching my compost decompose, my little garden plot unveiling itself and the chive plant starting to peek out is a taster for my land starved soul.
This morning, Earth Day (?) I have to decide....do I go to my workshop and prep the walls for painting in the smelly, basement room that is to be our work office or go to the neighborhood garbage clean up....both Kingdom things to do, renovating and improving a boarding house basement and taking care of the concrete places and urban grassland called boulevards. Decisions, decisions. And then I read "The Peace of Wild Things" by Wendall Berry, relating to every word and the line, "I come to the peace of the wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief".....if I don't clean the sidewalk it will look like I don't care about the environment, if I don't wash those grimy walls today, it will look like I don't care about smelly boarding house basements.
I know there is more to it then that, the tension eases when I think that whatever I do... the still water, the rest I look for is in front of me even here. Bird sounds, neighbors connecting, clean smell of a job well done, the burden lifts and I am allowed an Earth Day. And believe me, Walmart cannot compare to that.
Monday, May 25, 2015
A Felon and a Mom
I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday whose topic was the single mom who left her 2 kids in the car while she went to a much needed job interview.....I was realizing that everyone was judging her by an "assumed" set of standards that astonished me. They explained that when the police took her "mug shot" (displayed on the show) that her face was a river of tears. She spent 11 days in prison and then faced innumerable fines and charges for lawyers, court bills, etc. One woman who had her heart stirred by the picture and the story, started an online fundraising campaign and raised over $100,000.00. As this mom was completely overwhelmed by others generosity, she started to secure her and her children's life with rent, paying off debt and bills and clothing. People said they started to see her wear "designer clothing", buying an x-box system for the kids, funding her brother's rapping cd...and started complaining, which got into the media. Horror of horrors, she refused to put away $60,000.00 in a fund for the kids for college that would clear her name with the law and with society. Now she was on Dr. Phil.
It was disappointing to see Dr. Phil and others deride her for the choice she made in spending the donations that were raised by this compassionate woman, to survive the courts and onslaught of bills because of it. My thoughts went to how alot of people view the poor; that they are moochers, cannot use their money wisely, will always need a case worker to make it through and "if you don't put away for your kids college or university degree", you are shamed and debased. I feel she must have gone away from that show more harmed then helped, judged and "jailed" by public opinon and false standards. Jesus so astonishingly declares a better way....(read Sermon on the Mount).
Nearing the end of the show, Dr. Phil said, "why didn't you do it, at least to clear your name, now you are a felon! ". She lifted her head and looked straight at his face as she said, "Felons can get jobs and raise their kids too you know!" She's right, many people who have records do and can find jobs and lovingly raise their families...it's harder and messy, but possible. It's society job to adjust their attitudes and standards, welcome the broken into their midst to help and nurture, not judge and decry and control.
It was disappointing to see Dr. Phil and others deride her for the choice she made in spending the donations that were raised by this compassionate woman, to survive the courts and onslaught of bills because of it. My thoughts went to how alot of people view the poor; that they are moochers, cannot use their money wisely, will always need a case worker to make it through and "if you don't put away for your kids college or university degree", you are shamed and debased. I feel she must have gone away from that show more harmed then helped, judged and "jailed" by public opinon and false standards. Jesus so astonishingly declares a better way....(read Sermon on the Mount).
Nearing the end of the show, Dr. Phil said, "why didn't you do it, at least to clear your name, now you are a felon! ". She lifted her head and looked straight at his face as she said, "Felons can get jobs and raise their kids too you know!" She's right, many people who have records do and can find jobs and lovingly raise their families...it's harder and messy, but possible. It's society job to adjust their attitudes and standards, welcome the broken into their midst to help and nurture, not judge and decry and control.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Easter Eve
"It's over now
And we are lost
In a desert without tears
Guess it wasn't what we thought
Wish we could turn back the years
but there's no way out of here
There's no way out of here
There's no way out of here
It's over now
So say good-bye
But our mouths can't shape the words
Shut your doors
Don't even try
'cause no matter what you've heard
There's no way out of here
Come back
Please come back
Wake up
Please wake up
'cause there is no way out of here"
sung by Steve Bell and Larry Campbell on Good Friday service, St. Benedict's Table
It was the last song of the hour long story telling service, we heard about Peter, John, and Mary...their struggles to comprehend what was happening to Jesus, the healer, the Messiah. With the kind of week I had, I was struggling too, I didn't think I could bear one more story of heart ache and injustice. The last song was mournful, and expressed exactly what I felt....there is no way out of the death and emptiness in my soul and now I have to sit with this for the weekend, until Sunday....I really want to feel more hopeful with the story of the Resurrection. What ever happens tomorrow, I realize that work/school/issues and conflict will still exist on Monday. Lord, grant my soul resurrection in all things good, that I can continue to live, work and speak out your Kingdom in all the days I have left.
come back, please come back.
And we are lost
In a desert without tears
Guess it wasn't what we thought
Wish we could turn back the years
but there's no way out of here
There's no way out of here
There's no way out of here
It's over now
So say good-bye
But our mouths can't shape the words
Shut your doors
Don't even try
'cause no matter what you've heard
There's no way out of here
Come back
Please come back
Wake up
Please wake up
'cause there is no way out of here"
sung by Steve Bell and Larry Campbell on Good Friday service, St. Benedict's Table
It was the last song of the hour long story telling service, we heard about Peter, John, and Mary...their struggles to comprehend what was happening to Jesus, the healer, the Messiah. With the kind of week I had, I was struggling too, I didn't think I could bear one more story of heart ache and injustice. The last song was mournful, and expressed exactly what I felt....there is no way out of the death and emptiness in my soul and now I have to sit with this for the weekend, until Sunday....I really want to feel more hopeful with the story of the Resurrection. What ever happens tomorrow, I realize that work/school/issues and conflict will still exist on Monday. Lord, grant my soul resurrection in all things good, that I can continue to live, work and speak out your Kingdom in all the days I have left.
come back, please come back.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Monday Musings on Land, Bison, and Christianity
This Sunday night, my friend and "soul-sister" and aboriginal elder Melody McKeller told us some of her story, of being separated at birth from her twin sister (whom the doctor said was mentally retarded but she wasn't), being fostered out to a loving white family and her journey towards reconciling to both her birth family and the land and culture of her ancestors. She said that right now, with a herd of bison and over a hundred acres of land of forest, pasture and seeded field, they are working out a dream of theirs to honor the Creator with restoration. Restoration of the field from chemicals, restoring the bison to the land, and plants, medicinal and natural. She said it's not easy, especially in winter"do we put up drywall in our fixer upper house or feed the bison"? In order to get crop insurance, they need to spread chemical. But they won't, so if its a bad crop (for bison feed), they suck it up (her words not mine!).
Now for most of us, we don't care about all that...well maybe we'll use ecologically ok toliet cleaner, but to go the distance for a planet in crisis? Um, nope....that would mean too much, in fact, it's eccentric! I'll watch the shows of families going "off grid" and see their sad faces in the rain, trying for the hundreth time to roll that log up the hill that they will use for their cabin in the woods. But I'll stay within my comfortable 4 walls with Internet, plumbing, electricity and SuperStore....thanks!
So why do I feel her story, message, life striving for the best for the planet (and people...she works at Selkirk Mental Hospital) is urgent and important? She is not a striving, bitter person, she is open about her weaknesses and dilemmas. She prays, gives, goes into the hard places with a light she barely knows herself that she radiates. I work and live with broken people, that live on land that is pressed by concrete, buildings and thousands of cars and trucks. This land of Winnipeg is broken too. Garbage, dirt, salt, gravel...manicured lawns and flowers, gardens...pull out trees to replace it with other trees and shrubs of our liking. Create hills, parks, where we want them, pollute the river and wonder how to clean it. This was treaty land, a long time ago. Cared for, hunted on, for hundreds of years.
So my musings are trying to connect with this reality. Doesn't Christ want peace both for the human soul and for the land we live and work on? Won't this all be restored one day, both soul, body and earth? Is this important? The Kingdom coming now is Christ's vision to restore all to rightness...not us getting to heaven plunking on harps and chatting to Uncle Bob who made it there too, but earth and heaven, all this creation coming to fullness and peace. No more broken people, no more broken land and extinct animals, fish, birds.
This is why I think this lady needs to challenge more of us duped "Western-gotta-make-money-and-look-out-for-number-one" thinkers. Or Christians that think "Just get 'em saved!" Land doesn't equal money, bison doesn't equal thousands of dollars of meat on the hoof for the specialty restaurants. Our air needs to be clean, rivers flowing free of what we throw into it. Christians especially need to realize the urgency to engage personally in all these issues, hands on, up front. What are we going to do to make things right, running along beside the Creator in his hopeful and all encompassing loving vision of restoration?
Now for most of us, we don't care about all that...well maybe we'll use ecologically ok toliet cleaner, but to go the distance for a planet in crisis? Um, nope....that would mean too much, in fact, it's eccentric! I'll watch the shows of families going "off grid" and see their sad faces in the rain, trying for the hundreth time to roll that log up the hill that they will use for their cabin in the woods. But I'll stay within my comfortable 4 walls with Internet, plumbing, electricity and SuperStore....thanks!
So why do I feel her story, message, life striving for the best for the planet (and people...she works at Selkirk Mental Hospital) is urgent and important? She is not a striving, bitter person, she is open about her weaknesses and dilemmas. She prays, gives, goes into the hard places with a light she barely knows herself that she radiates. I work and live with broken people, that live on land that is pressed by concrete, buildings and thousands of cars and trucks. This land of Winnipeg is broken too. Garbage, dirt, salt, gravel...manicured lawns and flowers, gardens...pull out trees to replace it with other trees and shrubs of our liking. Create hills, parks, where we want them, pollute the river and wonder how to clean it. This was treaty land, a long time ago. Cared for, hunted on, for hundreds of years.
So my musings are trying to connect with this reality. Doesn't Christ want peace both for the human soul and for the land we live and work on? Won't this all be restored one day, both soul, body and earth? Is this important? The Kingdom coming now is Christ's vision to restore all to rightness...not us getting to heaven plunking on harps and chatting to Uncle Bob who made it there too, but earth and heaven, all this creation coming to fullness and peace. No more broken people, no more broken land and extinct animals, fish, birds.
This is why I think this lady needs to challenge more of us duped "Western-gotta-make-money-and-look-out-for-number-one" thinkers. Or Christians that think "Just get 'em saved!" Land doesn't equal money, bison doesn't equal thousands of dollars of meat on the hoof for the specialty restaurants. Our air needs to be clean, rivers flowing free of what we throw into it. Christians especially need to realize the urgency to engage personally in all these issues, hands on, up front. What are we going to do to make things right, running along beside the Creator in his hopeful and all encompassing loving vision of restoration?
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Clarence and Wall-Bashing
I can't believe its a third day of writing in my blog, last year I only wrote two entry's...what is it about this week? After re-reading my recent blog called "Unless a Seed Dies", at the last couple of sentences, my mind began to whirl, remembering yesterday afternoon. My office is in an small inner city church building, the tenants that know me, know where I am most days and if they want to chat or have a problem, they know where to come. As Housing Resource Coordinator for 3 project areas, there are alot of suites/tenants that need help with bed bug issues, arrears, hoarding or just trying to understand "the system" and its many requirements and loads of paperwork to stay housed.
I was at the table with a young man on the verge of eviction because he didn't know he had to get in forms for a subsidy for his rent, his late charge were growing. He came in excited because his E.I. budget letter came in...step one...we have about 6 more steps to go. I.D., Heatlth Card, tax info., wow....all that needed to get accomplished. Here's a guy who spends 70% of his time in bed, 20% finding and doing mild drugs, and 10% playing video games. Who knows when he eats, goes to the bathroom, or actually goes outside? Yipes. Anyways, we are talking baby steps here.
So I'm getting up, to Google the MB Health number for Stan and then in walks a guy who looks familiar. Teen Challenge? Woody's House? Couldn't place him, but he has a hungry,desperate look and bee-lines for the pastors office. Ok, I thought, I'll let the pastor take care of it. I went about my business, while eyeing Stan, hoping he wasn't going to leave from the boring process of paperwork and the other eye on the new guy, waving papers around and explaining something to the pastor. What is it about paper work?? I hate it too, so much red tape to get people some help and then wait, wait, wait, while debt grows, emotional havoc is played out and hope dies.
Stan is taken care of, and he leaves, the pastor comes over with the new guy and says, maybe you can help him? I nod, (like I know what I'm doing, but I don't) and it suddenly dawns on me that this guy was slated for evicition, claiming that he paid his $1600 rent bill but actually didn't. His name is Clarence, I remembered him peeking out of his door way many months ago, eyes dark, to take the envelope I was handing him...a demand for payment or eviction. We didn't talk, but he looked trapped, alone and hunted. Now he was here, waving papers for a court date that my company set up to justify eviction, and asking if we had any food. He was so hungry on so many levels. I looked up, seemed like the pastor disappeared..."Thank GOD!", he was probably thinking. What a wild coincidence that he came in now, not knowing this was my office...he wanted and needed help. The main thing he wanted is food, I searched the church cupboards and they were bare. I assured him that I knew where he lived, that I'd drop off something later for him...his medicated eyes stared at me for a moment, and he held out his huge hand and said thank you. What does a disciple do, I wondered, sit that "Greek" down and say wait here (show whose boss), consult with pastor, phone a food bank, (protocol) and love bomb that guy with another paper with a phone number of somewhere he could go to tomorrow to have a soup and sandwich..."now don't get in trouble!"
I'm saying this because I've done that before, many pastors and well meaning Christians do this all the time, if they happen to be in that space with a truely hungry, medicated, inner city type person. Clarence left with a promise that I'd be by later with something. Remembering the seed dying part of the Scripture, I later hefted a back pack of Zoodles, instant noodles, smokies, soup and carrots..grabbed my house keys and dog and went into the wierd cold rainy weather of Winnipeg. Yuck, just go, you promised. He doesn't live far, I rang his door bell and he came down in his sweats and hairy chest and a half smile...I handed him the soup, he said thanks and made to go up stairs...wait, there's more! Feeling like Santa, I kept handing him bags and cans and packages...what a blast! For one moment and for many more after, I felt like I had bashed through the barrier. That wall that we love bomb over and hope that somebody is helped, or feels like coming to church because of it. I bashed through, and stepped out into the muddy, rainy evening as if nothing happened. And as if Everything had happened
I was at the table with a young man on the verge of eviction because he didn't know he had to get in forms for a subsidy for his rent, his late charge were growing. He came in excited because his E.I. budget letter came in...step one...we have about 6 more steps to go. I.D., Heatlth Card, tax info., wow....all that needed to get accomplished. Here's a guy who spends 70% of his time in bed, 20% finding and doing mild drugs, and 10% playing video games. Who knows when he eats, goes to the bathroom, or actually goes outside? Yipes. Anyways, we are talking baby steps here.
So I'm getting up, to Google the MB Health number for Stan and then in walks a guy who looks familiar. Teen Challenge? Woody's House? Couldn't place him, but he has a hungry,desperate look and bee-lines for the pastors office. Ok, I thought, I'll let the pastor take care of it. I went about my business, while eyeing Stan, hoping he wasn't going to leave from the boring process of paperwork and the other eye on the new guy, waving papers around and explaining something to the pastor. What is it about paper work?? I hate it too, so much red tape to get people some help and then wait, wait, wait, while debt grows, emotional havoc is played out and hope dies.
Stan is taken care of, and he leaves, the pastor comes over with the new guy and says, maybe you can help him? I nod, (like I know what I'm doing, but I don't) and it suddenly dawns on me that this guy was slated for evicition, claiming that he paid his $1600 rent bill but actually didn't. His name is Clarence, I remembered him peeking out of his door way many months ago, eyes dark, to take the envelope I was handing him...a demand for payment or eviction. We didn't talk, but he looked trapped, alone and hunted. Now he was here, waving papers for a court date that my company set up to justify eviction, and asking if we had any food. He was so hungry on so many levels. I looked up, seemed like the pastor disappeared..."Thank GOD!", he was probably thinking. What a wild coincidence that he came in now, not knowing this was my office...he wanted and needed help. The main thing he wanted is food, I searched the church cupboards and they were bare. I assured him that I knew where he lived, that I'd drop off something later for him...his medicated eyes stared at me for a moment, and he held out his huge hand and said thank you. What does a disciple do, I wondered, sit that "Greek" down and say wait here (show whose boss), consult with pastor, phone a food bank, (protocol) and love bomb that guy with another paper with a phone number of somewhere he could go to tomorrow to have a soup and sandwich..."now don't get in trouble!"
I'm saying this because I've done that before, many pastors and well meaning Christians do this all the time, if they happen to be in that space with a truely hungry, medicated, inner city type person. Clarence left with a promise that I'd be by later with something. Remembering the seed dying part of the Scripture, I later hefted a back pack of Zoodles, instant noodles, smokies, soup and carrots..grabbed my house keys and dog and went into the wierd cold rainy weather of Winnipeg. Yuck, just go, you promised. He doesn't live far, I rang his door bell and he came down in his sweats and hairy chest and a half smile...I handed him the soup, he said thanks and made to go up stairs...wait, there's more! Feeling like Santa, I kept handing him bags and cans and packages...what a blast! For one moment and for many more after, I felt like I had bashed through the barrier. That wall that we love bomb over and hope that somebody is helped, or feels like coming to church because of it. I bashed through, and stepped out into the muddy, rainy evening as if nothing happened. And as if Everything had happened
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